Triggers Revisited

5 months ago I attended an ICAN meeting.
I had been so fine.
I was pretty much anxiety free.

Until it was my turn to tell my story.

Woah!
The fear and the choking and the anxiety.
I did not see that coming.
I totally did not expect it.
In fact I may very well have not gone if I had thought it would come.

It took days to return to my new normal.

4 days ago I attended another meeting.
I knew full well it may be a bit scary.
My consolation was there was a guest speaker.
I really wanted to hear what she had to say because she is on my radar as a future midwife.
What a great way to learn a bit about someone, eh?

We got the end of teh meeting.
People started sahring.
Some asked questios.
Some realyed fears.
More just listned.

I had only one moment of pulse-quickening.
And that was pretty legit because she was telling something hard/sad that affected everyone.

Then my heart was pretty calm...
The most negavtive response I've had it typing that poorly spelled paragraph above.
I'm leaving it for posterity.