Anxiety Triggers

And the battle rages on.
My story was posted yesterday on WellMama.
It is so very scary.
What will people think?
What will friends ask?
How will my community respond?

I am have been pretty anxious for a a few hours.
I thought I was fine.
Scared, but doing ok.

Then I went to church.
One lady mentioned that she saw my facebook post and didn't have time to read it.
I wanted to die.
Yes, I put it on facebook.
Yes, I want my story heard.
But I thought I would die.

Then after service, a sister wanted some support.
She is facing a deep triggering anxiety for the next 30 hours.
It's real. It's legit.
It scares me.

I will truly be okay.
No one is in danger.
She is just facing a situation that is triggering.

I came home for lunch and I feel as if I can't breathe.
i had forgotten how this felt.
I had forgotten how scary it is.
I have forgotten how my nerves just fray.
I had forgotten how animated it can make me.

And now the fire station whistle went.
Fire trucks.
Ambulances.
Cops.
The weather is quiet.
The wind is still.
It is not raining.
Yet someone, somewhere needs them.
And I can't breathe.

I have never figured out why it triggers me so.
It has bothered me for a while.

I will be okay.
I have tools to deal with it.
I have support to lean on.
I will be okay.
But it scares me.